As if you needed another reason to avoid Georgia, the U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has upheld a Georgia law banning the sale of sex toys.

Seriously, what year is it in Georgia?

I mean even if you think it's gross. Even if you think it's reprehensible. Even if you think it's unbelievably wrong it's still a freaking waste of time to pass, enforce and uphold laws like this. Honestly, of all the societal problems we're battling right now, I'd have to say sexual depravity is pretty low on the list. Now I can't claim to understand the unique challenges facing this backwater bigothole. But I can tell you that getting between women and their vibrators ain't gonna solve 'em.

So now you're going to pay Georgia. I will not visit your state. I will not watch sports featuring your teams. I will not speak kindly about your southern hospitality. And worst of all, I will not travel via your beloved airport hub. Of course I've never done any of those things anyways, but thanks for keeping me on course.

First man to mail the governor a butt plug gets a hand job from me.

3 Comments:

  1. Anonymous said...
    not to point out the obvious, but the US District Court was reporting from Atlanta, Georgia about a case sent to it from ALABAMA! Butt plugs are available all over Atlanta. Thanks for a great BLOG but you really should read the article that you are quoting!
    RW
    Anonymous said...
    Do we still get a hand job if we already put the butt plug in the mail before reading Anonymous' note?!
    Threnody said...
    Woops! I could delete your comment and silently go change it all to read Alabama, but instead I'll just put myself on sex toy hiatus for a month. That'll teach me!

    The hand job thing was a joke, but if you happen to be really hot let's go cowboy.

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