Mirror mirror on the wallI, like most people, spend a decent amount of time looking in the mirror. Here's what I've come to realize: When I look at other people I see what is physically there. I can tell what looks good and what doesn't. I can spot improvement or neglect. But when I look at myself in the mirror, what I see is more a reflection of how I feel about myself than anything.
Tell me why you make things fall
Mirror mirror look at me
Tell me why we disagree - The Wild Strawberries
Today I'm depressed. And when I look in the mirror I feel ugly.
There's not an ounce of rationality in that feeling. Which is why it's pretty much impossible for me to change it. I'm not a Vulcan.
Now on to the good part: As a druggie I can engage in a practice called self-medication. It's the proverbial patients running the asylum. Or, giving the prescription pad to the hypochondriac.
Is this a good thing or not? In the past it's been a good way to let off some steam and I'll feel better for a while after. In other cases I come home and crap on myself for doing drugs for the wrong reasons.
Of course a lot of people lose themselves in the cycle of drugs and depression, but I've managed to dodge that so far and I'm not nearly as stupid as I was this time last year. The danger has passed.
So I have access to a drug that will make me happy, pretty much no matter what. Whether it's good or bad, once you have the option it's difficult to turn it down.
Hell, I've been well behaved these past few weeks. I'm going to go out, dance my ass off and feel good. I can weigh the moral implications tomorrow.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia.