Bad urban behavior

Perhaps this is something I could address to the author directly, but since his commenting system is utterly broken I'm going to publicly lash my fellow blogger over this post. Essentially it details his efforts to find Urban music in the village. Allow me to tenderly remove the juicy bits:

With a daunting line up at Crews, a friend and I made that long and painful walk to Zippers, we got in and there was no line up(surprise?) and almost immediately we were greeted with dance remixes of all the cutting edge showtunes available. We got our drink, went to dance, got bored and went to ask for some Urban music. I was told and I quote ‘No, not a fan, not a fan’ and the look I received, if that slight attempt at acknowledging my existence upon uttering the phrase R&B could be considered a look) alone told me that I both had no right to ask, and that I was obviously in the wrong for thinking a DJ would actually play what people who(albeit got in for free) were patrons of the club wanted to hear.

That said, I somehow doubt it would have gone over well to hear anything but the dance versions of songs that had their ‘original’ mixes recently top the charts worldwide, I digress. too literal?Realizing we weren’t so welcome, we happily left for another experience.

The Crews line up seemed even longer so we went to Vice, and lo and behold, a dance remix of The Pussycat Dolls “Buttons” welcomed us on the way in. After a drink and a bit of dancing, I ask if they’re playing any urban music, surprise surprise I was told no, but not just no, upon asking what the problem the ’strip’ had with Urban music I was told that perhaps I should start my own club if I have a problem with it, wonderful!
After that they gave up, waited in line for Crews and lived happily ever after.

Now here's the thing: Anyone with a decent knowledge of the scene knows you're not going to get urban music at Vice, and especially not at Zippers, a piano bar for crap's sake. There's also the fact that DJs generally stick to their own genre. Do you think every DJ in town carries around house, trance, R&B, hip hop, top 40 and jungle just in case someone comes in and asks for it? This is the clubbing equivalent of going to Staples and demanding that they make you a sandwich. And how dare they refuse to cater to a paying customer!

I'm sorry you didn't want to wait in line at Crews, but when the lineup is too long at Fly I don't go over to Crews and demand that they play house music, do I? No, because everyone else is there to hear the kind of music they play at Crews.

I think in the past month I've sort of gone soft on the blog, leaving behind the offensive posts of the early days. Well it's time for a rennaisance my friend, because you are getting the jackass award!

If anyone wants to suggest someone else who deserves an award, just drop me a line. The bitch is back!


  1. Jeff Skybar said...
    I don't care what kind of music is played at a club, as long as I can groove to it. I'm usually half baked or corked or both to even really care or remember.

    Oh BUT wait, we only have ONE gay dance club here, so I guess this scenario doesn't apply to me at all.

    But I'm liking the snarkiness...Does that make me evil?
    Threnody said...
    Are you kidding me? There is one gay dance floor in all of Calgary?


    You're no more evil than I am!
    Jeff Skybar said...
    Yeah one gay nightclub, Twisted Element. We have a few bar/lounge type places and gay friendly places along 17th avenue, which is like "thee" avenue in Calgary - sometimes dubbed as the "Red Mile". Straights and gays mixing, I know seems foreign to me still. But the upside is everybody ends up at Twisted at some point in the night, if you're seeking someone out, you pretty much know where to find them. So it's not a hard hunt.

    Hmm as far as evil, the other day some lady was shuffling her feet (I can't STAND when people do that). She cut in front of me and I purposely clipped her heel causing her to lose her shuffling shoe and lose her balance. I just kept walking by. Don't cut me off and don't shuffle your feet - beyotch!
    G Cracker said...
    Well, golly gosh gee, he's soooo fabulous and his blog is sooo amazing all DJs should be honored that he deigns to make a request of them and bend over backwards to please him!

    Oh, wait, that's right, this is the real world...sorry, I don't know where my head went.
    Anonymous said...
    sounds to me that the "ass clown" award may be appropriate. What is the "ass clown" award? Go to
    and scroll down to
    "Gobsmacked: Ass Clowns Among Us"

    Kevin said...
    That's like walking in to McDonalds and asking for a Whopper. Then heading over to Taco Bell ... and asking for a Whopper. Then finally ending at KFC and asking for a Whopper.

    Because the drive-thru line to the BK Lounge is too long.

    (Sorry - it's lunch time and I'm hungry.)
    Threnody said...
    More restaurant-related metaphors for all!

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