I was going to post something light-hearted today, but then I found this story. Get ready for something a little...heavy:

A man who once weighed well over a half ton left his house for the first time in five years Wednesday -- wheeled outside on his bed to greet neighbors and see a mariachi band.

"The sky is beautiful and blue and what I want is to enjoy the sun," said Manuel Uribe, who had once been certified by doctors as weighing 1,235 pounds.

Though still unable to leave his bed, Uribe has lost 395 pounds since he began a high-protein diet a year ago. He now weights about 840 pounds.

To celebrate the milestone, six people pushed Uribe's wheel-equipped iron bed out to the street as a mariachi band played and a crowd gathered. Then, a forklift lifted him onto a truck and the 41-year-old rode through the streets of San Nicolas de los Garza, a Monterrey suburb.
Now, as I've written before, I have a fascination about the obesity epidemic. The great thing about this guy is that he's so freaking gigantic that I can write whatever I want about him without offending any of my readers. No matter how fat you are, blog visitors, you will never make me throw up in my mouth like dear Manuel nearly did.

I was reading the comments on the Digg story and people were posting things about genetics and all that. I'm willing to accept that we all have different body types and metabolisms, and I've got it easier than a lot of people. But you cannot use that argument to explain this freak. Quite simply, if you're eating a normal 2,000-3,000 calories a day, there's no way for this to happen. If your body could manufacture 1,000 pounds of fat out of nothing it'd be violating the laws of thermodynamics!

Just for fun, I ran this guy through a BMI calculator. For those not in the know, BMI is a rough estimate of whether you're at a healthy weight. It doesn't factor in fat vs. muscle, so it is a blunt tool at best. A healthy BMI is from 18.5-24.9. Obese is over 30. Assuming he's six feet tall, Emanuel's BMI was 167.5 at it's peak. In fact, for Emanuel to have a healthy BMI at 1,235 pounds, he'd have to be 15'7" tall!

How the hell does this happen? I mean the guy didn't leave the house. Somebody was buying groceries for him. Somebody was probably cooking for him. Why not offer to bring him nothing but fruits and vegetables? We're not talking about sticking your nose where it doesn't belong here. We're talking about a person who's eating enough to feed a grade four class. Don't you think it might be time for a little tough love?

Kudos to him for dropping all that weight. In the past year he's lost almost 400 pounds, or 2.75 Adams. But somebody should have intervened a long time ago. When your friend or family member no longer fits through the door, it might be time to give them a salad or something.

Image courtesy of WSB-TV Atlanta.

8 Comments:

  1. Too Hotty said...
    Amen. The town is celebrating because some guy who can't take care of himself was fork-lifted into a truck?

    So he lost some weight. I'm sure that took lots of willpower considering he can't even get up to prepare himself food.

    This guy's lucky to be alive and could still drop dead any minute, and he's turning down gastric bypass in favor of some some diet fad? Excuse me if I don't join in the mariachi band this time.
    Jeff Skybar said...
    Well I don't feel so fat now. You know if by the time I'm 40 and still single. I think I will eat my way to an tonne and stay in an iron bed, just for fun and so I can say I did it. I would then cash in the life savings and get it all sucked out, stomach and all. Then go on the talk shows, make a fortune and retire comfortably.
    Kevin said...
    At some point, too, his furniture would had to have been reinforced because your standard IKEA build-it-yourself stuff ain't gonna hole that much weight.

    *CRACK*

    *KER-PLUNK*

    And then imagine having to be the one to help pull the splinters out of his ass ...
    Danifesto said...
    wow. Good point. He had people that enabled him that are as much to blame as himself. Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, neither was this guy. It took dedication to sloth and gluttony on a LARGE scale.
    If he could lose a little bit more we could honestly say he's HALF the man he was!:)
    Anonymous said...
    lol Awww Adam, but you're right.
    Kevin said...
    And imagine how long it's been since he's seen his wiener. I couldn't handle that.

    Literally.
    Threnody said...
    See we can all thank this guy about making us feel better about ourselves. Of course he's not gay. Being 250 pounds and gay is about equal to being 1,000 pounds and straight.
    Steven said...
    I just read that today. Scary.

    Is this man really hopeful, or just crazy, to think he can lose almost 1,000 pounds?

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