The Free Thinker

Continuing the theme of regularly doing things I swore I'd never do, I took a nice radiation bath on my way to the gym today. Some might call it "tanning."

I remember a couple of years ago I was mentoring first year students at Carleton and one of them submitted this awful story about tanning. She was getting to the bottom of the phenomenon by interviewing...the owner of a Fabutan. Oh and she also read a pamphlet...that she found at the Fabutan. The conclusion was, of course, that tanning is actually GOOD FOR YOU! I immediately emailed her back and told her that if she wanted to pass she'd better get a dermatologist on the phone pronto. You know, somebody that could remind her of the whole cancer angle.

Quite frankly, back then I didn't get it. But "luckily" Toronto has opened my eyes to many things. Stuff that seemed minor in Ottawa is a big deal here. Like not having visible abdominal muscle. Or being pale in January.

Honestly I know it's bad for me. I do. But when I see someone who's got the whole albino look going on, it doesn't exactly load the pistol. I'd be a hypocrite if I judged people for seeing me the same way. And they have. Just look at my pale and near-sexless Toronto pride, for example.

So I'm going out this weekend and I want to look good. Plus all that light's gotta be good for the old seasonal affective disorder, right? So what's the harm? Oh yeah, the cancer.

PS A tip for those considering taking up this horrible practice. ALWAYS tan less than the nice lady at the tanning place tells you to. You notice that lovely orange look she's sporting? She thinks it'd look great on you too. See The Onion for a necessarily dire warning.