The Free Thinker

Alright so I broke my promise. I'm so sorry blogland. You just can't compete with summer.

But since today is a holiday in the US (where all our clients are), but not in Canada (where we are), I am at work...with nothing to do. What better time to get back in the groove? However, I'm going to stay away from the heavy stuff until I'm back in better blogging shape. I therefore bring you: the signs that I go to a gay gym.

Now just as there's more to being gay than really liking penis, there's more to a gay gym than having a primarily gay clientelle. No, the gay gym drips in gayness, even without any homosexuals present.

My gym is gay because:

• It has three calf machines that see almost no use, yet three ab machines and an ass machine that are in near-constant use. My last two gyms had neither ass nor ab machines.
  
• It has a hair gel dispenser and two handheld hair dryers in the change room.
  
• It has a separate women-only weight room to keep all the pussy out of the sausage party.
  
• The few straight guys that come always bring their girlfriends...and kiss them constantly to reinforce their heterosexuality.
  
• It is, quite literally, right behind Fly, the most gayest gay club evar.
  
• Everybody there is in really good shape. As if they bulked up at a "normal" gym first to prepare themselves.
  
• To work out there is to checked out non-stop...and to like it.
  
• The change room has ten showers with doors and one without. Guess which one gets used the most.
  
• Last month a bunch of posters went up trying to sell personal training sessions. The tag line: "Get in shape for pride!"
  
• Guys are constantly pulling up their shirts to check out their abs.

And finally:

• There's not a sauna, because, well, do I really have to explain this one? A gay gym with a sauna would soon end up being used as a discount bathhouse.

That's it for now folks. Let's hope I can get back in the habit!